WHAT YOU REALLY LIKE?

i have been thinking outside the PhD materials (i know…not normal, LOL), and would like to share few thoughts with you, I would like to know what u think also.

i went to bed yesterday reading an article (i’ll try to post here later) about being yourself. just act as you like. forget about what people expect from you, what society expects from you, and forget about the standards that you put according to your labels. the article goes on to stress the fact how difficult would be to understand and know what YOU REALLY LIKE, where frameworks disappear and you have to create ur own….hmmmmm…difficult? oh yes.
every time, i feel down my sons ask me to do what i really like. i answer back: i donot know any more what i like, i forget what i like to do, and i find it hard to find what i like in the middle of my duties as a wife, a mother, a PhD candidate, a citizen, a friend, a researcher, a….. and the list goes on and on.
the idea of “i have to finish my dissertation at the expected time and in the perfect form” dominates my life and blinds me from living completely. being perfect for the labels i named myself with, stress me more than making me happy, and now what? but hey, isnot doing a PhD is kind of self discovery? is it what should be something i really really like to do? well it is, but it looks there are other elements into it.  i believe we should not let the PhD controlling us, but we should have the upper hand. but how? people would say: being organized, know your materials, have a schedule …etc etc….do all of these work for you? do you really work by dead line? knowing you are not acting alone, so it is not really only your time. it is the supervisor’s, the people u r collecting data from, your committees…and so on..
however, it would be helpful to talk to other PhD students, take longer real break away from writing to come back and be able to see the gaps, have different of activities, and do not disconnect from real life..and do what you really really like to do without explaining, for example if you like to paint then go ahead and find your inner self…..do you have other suggestions? please share with us….

is there a link between PhD and Moby Dick?

since PhD students are real people and live in a real world, and have a real life duties, a good question would be raised: how to live the two lives? PhD students are expected to work 24 hours, between writing journal papers, conference workshops and papers, deadlines projects, seminar contributions, dissertation research project, on-working literature review, blogging, emails, discussion forums, social networking, and if we do not want to mention teaching duties or any other working related duties…..

PLUS

a PhD student is a real human being, need healthy habits such as good real food, excercise, some entertainment, jobs, socializing, and if not talking about those are responsible for family with children and babies….

depressing enough?

however, the key to manage these lives is organizing, sharing, asking for support, and have lower expectations.

for example, the house does not have to be super clean, lundary can wait for another day. kids can eat pizza once a week, and it is ok to say that u have a busy week, and u need some sleep. it is ok to share ur tricks with ur colleagues. no one is a super hero.

some say that having a Phd is not about being super smart, but being able to manage, organize, and know how to do it profesionaly. does it mean: to survive? does it mean that u should be Ishmael in Moby Dick to be a “Dr”?

the most important thing is to know how to live this extraordinary experience while having fun, growing and live….